{"@context":"http://iiif.io/api/presentation/3/context.json","id":"https://archive.empathyarchive.com/iiif/c53dz03p12/manifest","type":"Manifest","label":{"en":["112118a"]},"logo":"https://d9jk7wjtjpu5g.cloudfront.net/organizations/logo_images/000/000/210/original/The_Empathy_Archive_logo.png?1701124070","metadata":[{"label":{"en":["Project"]},"value":{"en":["Youth Citizenship Narrative Project"]}},{"label":{"en":["Theme"]},"value":{"en":["Coming-Out"]}},{"label":{"en":["Age"]},"value":{"en":["18-25"]}},{"label":{"en":["Race"]},"value":{"en":["White"]}},{"label":{"en":["Ethnicity"]},"value":{"en":["Latino"]}},{"label":{"en":["Gender"]},"value":{"en":["Male"]}},{"label":{"en":["Recording Type"]},"value":{"en":["Field Recording"]}}],"provider":[{"id":"https://archive.empathyarchive.com/aboutus","type":"Agent","label":{"en":["The Empathy Archive"]},"homepage":[{"id":"https://archive.empathyarchive.com/","type":"Text","label":{"en":["The Empathy Archive"]},"format":"text/html"}],"logo":[{"id":"https://d9jk7wjtjpu5g.cloudfront.net/organizations/logo_images/000/000/210/original/The_Empathy_Archive_logo.png?1701124070","type":"Image"}]}],"thumbnail":[{"id":"https://d9jk7wjtjpu5g.cloudfront.net/collections/default_thumbs/000/001/731/small/DSCF6473.jpg?1694562649","type":"Image","format":"image/png"}],"items":[{"id":"https://archive.empathyarchive.com/collections/1731/collection_resources/56660/file/130855","type":"Canvas","label":{"en":["Media File 1 of 1 - open-uri20211202-21802-1wb49z6.mpga"]},"duration":588.816,"width":640,"height":360,"thumbnail":[{"id":"https://d9jk7wjtjpu5g.cloudfront.net/collections/default_thumbs/000/001/731/small/DSCF6473.jpg?1694562649","type":"Image","format":"image/png"}],"items":[{"id":"https://archive.empathyarchive.com/collections/1731/collection_resources/56660/file/130855/content/1","type":"AnnotationPage","items":[{"id":"https://archive.empathyarchive.com/collections/1731/collection_resources/56660/file/130855/content/1/annotation/1","type":"Annotation","motivation":"painting","body":{"id":"https://aviary-p-culturalmediaarchive.s3.wasabisys.com/collection_resource_files/resource_files/000/130/855/original/open-uri20211202-21802-1wb49z6.mpga?1638443323","type":"Audio","format":"audio/mpeg","duration":588.816,"width":640,"height":360},"target":"https://archive.empathyarchive.com/collections/1731/collection_resources/56660/file/130855","metadata":[]}]}],"annotations":[{"id":"https://archive.empathyarchive.com/collections/1731/collection_resources/56660/file/130855/transcript/44928","type":"AnnotationPage","label":{"en":["AUTO_TRINT_open-uri20211202-21802-1wb49z6.mpga [Transcript]"]},"items":[{"id":"https://archive.empathyarchive.com/collections/1731/collection_resources/56660/file/130855/transcript/44928/annotation/1","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\u003cstrong\u003eSpeaker 1:\u003c/strong\u003e Hi. So would you like to share your coming out story with us? Sure. Um, you said I could share, like, one or two. Yeah, because it's not a static or one time process of coming out to share in multiple times. Okay. So I think I don't talk about it much, but the first time I actually came out was when, um, I was dating this person. Um, this guy. And I started dating him because he was one of the only other people at my school. And when we started dating, I kind of made it clear, like, you know, I really am not, um, out yet. So we're just kind of date, like it's for us. Cause I kind of, like. You don't really like him now, but I liked him at the time. And at one point, we were walking in school, and I made it clear to him that I didn't want to, like, you know, publicly make the relationship open. But he just grabbed my hand out of nowhere. And at that point, I was like, I'm like, he's not letting go. And so people started seeing it. And that's the first time I ever felt like, oh, my God, I'm out now. I had already been at some friends in the past, but like, this is the first time that was out at my school. And so I think that's like the first coming out with the public because things that happened after that were I remember being at a basketball game once and a girl that I knew from a class that I was taking, she asked it, Hey, you just came out, didn't you? And I said, Yeah. And I was a bit nervous because it was the first time someone, a stranger, really had like talked to me about this. I never had told her who I was or that identity or the way I identified. And she said, I think that takes some balls to come out. And I remember thinking like, cool. But also I didn't want to. This wasn't my choice. And another thing that happened was I went to the bathroom during class one day and there was these three big like basketball guys that were like standing by the bathroom. And when I started going towards it, they started whispering a little bit. And as I got closer, they stopped and they let me go through and I felt so nervous. I was like, What's going to happen? I think they're really going to do, Why are they waiting outside his door? What's going on? And so I remember like taking a really long time to pee and thinking and being in the bathroom, nervous, going, What do I do? I deal with the fight that is going to be the first bite. I don't know what's going to happen. I got really scared. And so I remember coming out of that restroom going, okay, if they're still there, like, they might do something. I remember being prepared and I walked past them because they were still outside and I thought, okay, I think I'm good and my hands are still clenched just in case something were to happen. And I heard it. Hey, I turned around like still sweating bullets, and one of the guys came up to me and he was like, You're that gay kid, right? I said, Yeah. I was like, That's pretty cool, man. And then he did that weird, like straight bro, like high five thing. And I was so sweaty. I think he realized that it was, like, so gross. And he did that. And I was like, Oh, thank God like that. But it was still really nerve wracking, like not knowing exactly what was going to happen from that moment. Um, so that's like the school coming out. And then it was like coming out to my mom, which is like a completely different thing, like coming out to parents. I remember being really nervous one day just feeling like I had to do it because the day or like a couple of days before, she talked to me and she said, Ricky, there's something going on. Because at this point I was already out to a lot of friends in my whole school. So I think she might have gotten wind of it. But I remember thinking like, you know, even if she does, it's fine. I've got my friends, I've got like other support systems. But she came to my room one day and was like, you know what's going on? And I said, you know, I'm fine. I'm good. Cause I was a little bit good at the time. And she said, And Ricky, like, you want to talk to me.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://archive.empathyarchive.com/collections/1731/collection_resources/56660/file/130855#t=1.61,228.2"},{"id":"https://archive.empathyarchive.com/collections/1731/collection_resources/56660/file/130855/transcript/44928/annotation/2","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\u003cstrong\u003eUnidentified:\u003c/strong\u003e About, you can talk to me. I remember kind of getting angry because I thought, like, you know, you had all this time, like, you can you.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://archive.empathyarchive.com/collections/1731/collection_resources/56660/file/130855#t=228.29,234.68"},{"id":"https://archive.empathyarchive.com/collections/1731/collection_resources/56660/file/130855/transcript/44928/annotation/3","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\u003cstrong\u003eSpeaker 1:\u003c/strong\u003e Can stop beating around the bush if you want to ask me, you can ask me. But like taking me this long over time to, like, get used.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://archive.empathyarchive.com/collections/1731/collection_resources/56660/file/130855#t=234.8,240.02"},{"id":"https://archive.empathyarchive.com/collections/1731/collection_resources/56660/file/130855/transcript/44928/annotation/4","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\u003cstrong\u003eUnidentified:\u003c/strong\u003e To myself, like. You know what it will do and say, like.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://archive.empathyarchive.com/collections/1731/collection_resources/56660/file/130855#t=240.2,245.08"},{"id":"https://archive.empathyarchive.com/collections/1731/collection_resources/56660/file/130855/transcript/44928/annotation/5","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\u003cstrong\u003eSpeaker 1:\u003c/strong\u003e Get some confidence and like, just ask me like, I'm your kid. And I remember her saying, Well, you can talk to me and you can. I said, I'm fine. I have other people that talk to you. And she's like, About what? And I said, I just remember this hurt her because I remember her eyes at this time. I said, You're too late. It's it's you missed your chance at this point. Like you had plenty of chances to, like, make me feel better. But you used to call me Hoda, which just means like, the f ag word in Spanish used to make fun of the way I worked. Used to make fun of the way I spoke. Like you missed your chance by, like, a couple of years. So it's. It's fun. So I remember telling her it's too late and she's like, It's too late for what? And I close the door on her. So I was like, I don't want to deal with this, like. And then I came out to her, uh, like a couple of days later, I remember sitting on her bed watching some soap opera. I remember sitting on her bed thinking like, it's going to go, Well, I got to give her some more credit. I really do.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://archive.empathyarchive.com/collections/1731/collection_resources/56660/file/130855#t=245.41,301.51"},{"id":"https://archive.empathyarchive.com/collections/1731/collection_resources/56660/file/130855/transcript/44928/annotation/6","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\u003cstrong\u003eUnidentified:\u003c/strong\u003e And I told her I was like, Mom, want? I'll tell you something. And I remember feeling really, really.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://archive.empathyarchive.com/collections/1731/collection_resources/56660/file/130855#t=302.53,308.02"},{"id":"https://archive.empathyarchive.com/collections/1731/collection_resources/56660/file/130855/transcript/44928/annotation/7","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\u003cstrong\u003eSpeaker 1:\u003c/strong\u003e Nervous about, like, what I was going to say. And I said, I'm gay. And she immediately started crying and she was like, in Spanish with God, why me? What's happened to me? And something actually funny happened. She said, I saw you don't like to go outside and help your dad with the artwork. And I said, No, that's not because I'm gay, that's because I'm lazy. And and then we had a little laugh, and then afterwards things got more serious and she was like, you know, I just don't know how this happened. And I said, It's just been me since I was born. And she said, But you know, there's no one else around you that's gay. And I said, Yes, there are that guy that like, you know, the son of that rich person that lives in town, like. It's not like disclaiming anything like that son of that Richardson, who lives in town like he is. It's Karen, you know. And I was like, Let's not talk about that. And then I was like, also that one really good soccer player there everyone has a crush on. He's gay. And then I remember she broke my heart by saying, Why can't you be like them? I was like, Fuck, like. And I started to realize that, like, I got good grades. I was in a lot of extracurriculars. I was smart. I didn't cause any trouble. I didn't do any drugs, any do anything. But because I was gay, like, I didn't live up to, like something. And apart from that, I wasn't like the other ones who hid it well enough that she couldn't see. I was like the other ones who, like, wear a beard because they were the rich kids son or really good soccer player. And so I remember after that, I just felt like I can not do right by you, can I? Whether I'm straight, Like I won't live up to expectations and it just is even worse. I'm like even lower on the totem pole because I'm gay. So I remember my grandpa was working in Indiana at the time, uh, doing some like agricultural work. And I thought, okay, uh, he's offered me to go work with him. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. And I remember my mom saying, Oh, yeah, I go like this. That's I mean, I don't know if she didn't if she wanted me to leave or if she was just like, Maybe it's what he wants. But I remember thinking like, I'm not coming back. I'm not coming back at all. And she was like, okay, well, we'll see you in a year. And I was like, okay. But I ended up staying out there and going to school out there for a while. I remember missing my family a lot because I was like, You know, as much as I hate to say it, like family means a lot to me. And one day my mom called me after because I was out there for about a year and, uh, like six months or something of a year and a half, about like, uh, like seven or eight months into living there, I had a call from her and she goes, You know, like, You miss you. I sent you a card for your birthday. And I was like, Yeah, sure. Like, you haven't apologized, like how you made me feel like you were really mean. And she was like.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://archive.empathyarchive.com/collections/1731/collection_resources/56660/file/130855#t=308.29,477.94"},{"id":"https://archive.empathyarchive.com/collections/1731/collection_resources/56660/file/130855/transcript/44928/annotation/8","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\u003cstrong\u003eUnidentified:\u003c/strong\u003e Oh, by the way, like, I'm pregnant. And I thought, what? And I was like, Oh, maybe. And she's just like, I'm one thing. And she's like, And I was like, Oh, how far along are you? And she goes, I'm five months pregnant, so what the.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://archive.empathyarchive.com/collections/1731/collection_resources/56660/file/130855#t=478.21,489.64"},{"id":"https://archive.empathyarchive.com/collections/1731/collection_resources/56660/file/130855/transcript/44928/annotation/9","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"\u003cstrong\u003eSpeaker 1:\u003c/strong\u003e Fuck? Like, she's already halfway through her pregnancy. And she waited this long to tell me, like, do I even matter at this point? Because I'm the oldest of now five. And I was like, you know, I already missed my little brothers and sisters because before I left, my little sister was like, But who's going to help me do backflips? Like, cause I used to help her, like, do flips and stuff because she was pretty young at the time. And I remember thinking, like, this little babies and grow up without me, like knowing who their big brother is. Oh, because my mom's ashamed of me. And so eventually I did come back. I remember and we started really talked about, like, why I left, but I came back and I'm like, happy right now because I got my family. Like, they're more accepting, like my little brother. Um, we had a conversation once where he, um, it was kind of a really bad conversation where she was mad at my mom because she forgot to pick him up and he got a ride from someone else and she was like, You know, you need to call me. And she was like, I did try and call you. And I tried to mediate that. And I was like, you know, just just talk to each other, you know, please. Like, I need I need this to work out. And she was like, you know, you're always just trying to do stuff on your own. I need you to listen to me. And he's like, I tried calling you and you're mad that I got a ride home. And she was like, You're just not listening. And he goes, You're a shitty mom. And yeah, and she got really sad. And I remember looking at him and I had tears in my eyes and I was like, Alan. I an interactive. And it's okay. All these go away. I don't know. I honestly don't know what happened. Uh. Uh. But, you know, it is. It is.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://archive.empathyarchive.com/collections/1731/collection_resources/56660/file/130855#t=489.7,586.97"}]},{"id":"https://archive.empathyarchive.com/collections/1731/collection_resources/56660/file/130855/transcript/44928","type":"AnnotationPage","label":{"en":["English [Transcript]"]},"items":[{"id":"https://archive.empathyarchive.com/collections/1731/collection_resources/56660/file/130855/transcript/44928/annotation/10","type":"Annotation","motivation":"subtitling","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"https://d9jk7wjtjpu5g.cloudfront.net/file_transcripts/associated_files/000/044/928/original/open-uri20230706-255388-oru3h4?1688666455","format":"text/vtt","language":"en"},"target":"https://d9jk7wjtjpu5g.cloudfront.net/file_transcripts/associated_files/000/044/928/original/open-uri20230706-255388-oru3h4?1688666455"}]}]}]}